A Thing of The Past We all have our darkest moments. A nightmare that brought us trauma. A ghastly past that we want to forget. A frightening experience that has brought us tears and pain. A scar we always bear. A burden that forbids us to be genuinely happy. Most, if not all, of us wish to have a time machine or a special power that will enable us to perform a miracle and erase some events in our past. But it’s simply not possible. So our wish will remain a wishful thinking. No one can go back in time and change the past, that’s one thing we’re all sure of. But we have today and with it, we can create a better future. If only action is easy as how we say it, then there’d be no problem. We can simply forget the past and move forward. But truth be told: it requires a great effort to realize that. It’s a long process. Every day is a struggle. You have to be strong enough to stand firmly on your ground without looking back, no matter how it haunts you. There are mornings when waking up is simply painful. There are memories that don’t only bug your mind but punch your stomach to make you puke your guts out. The montages of the past is utterly awful. Remembering your happy times together up to the moment when things are becoming complicated and unmanageable, it’s a bitter pill to swallow. It’s when reality bites you hard and you see that you’re all alone now. The one who promised you forever is now a ghost of the past. The one who told you he loves you left you hanging. The man whom you trusted with all your heart lied to you, cheated on you, denied you, hid you and used you for the entire moment you’ve been together. The man who used to be your brother, bestfriend and lover is no longer the man you used to know. He has thrown you away for somebody else. And even though you want to chase the bond you once had, it doesn’t exist anymore nor it did. 

A Thing of The Past

We all have our darkest moments. A nightmare that brought us trauma. A ghastly past that we want to forget. A frightening experience that has brought us tears and pain. A scar we always bear. A burden that forbids us to be genuinely happy.

Most, if not all, of us wish to have a time machine or a special power that will enable us to perform a miracle and erase some events in our past. But it’s simply not possible. So our wish will remain a wishful thinking. No one can go back in time and change the past, that’s one thing we’re all sure of. But we have today and with it, we can create a better future.

If only action is easy as how we say it, then there’d be no problem. We can simply forget the past and move forward. But truth be told: it requires a great effort to realize that. It’s a long process. Every day is a struggle. You have to be strong enough to stand firmly on your ground without looking back, no matter how it haunts you. There are mornings when waking up is simply painful. There are memories that don’t only bug your mind but punch your stomach to make you puke your guts out. The montages of the past is utterly awful. Remembering your happy times together up to the moment when things are becoming complicated and unmanageable, it’s a bitter pill to swallow. It’s when reality bites you hard and you see that you’re all alone now. The one who promised you forever is now a ghost of the past. The one who told you he loves you left you hanging. The man whom you trusted with all your heart lied to you, cheated on you, denied you, hid you and used you for the entire moment you’ve been together. The man who used to be your brother, bestfriend and lover is no longer the man you used to know. He has thrown you away for somebody else. And even though you want to chase the bond you once had, it doesn’t exist anymore nor it did. 

Your New Realm You stepped into the labyrinth of despair and your new comrade, sorrow, welcomed you with arms wide open. “Brace yourself… here comes torment.” He whispered slowly as he leads you to your throne. You sat there in the ice-cold stone. You quivered in coldness, you couldn’t hold the Farenheit. You studied the vicinity of your new kingdom. “Seems like darkness covered the entire place.” You thought to yourself. Soon after, this kingdom became your sacred home. You embraced the solitude, the pain, and the agony. Now everything that connotes sadness decribes you. One day, your swollen and teary eyes wandered and spotted something that gleamed in distance. It was a mirror. You approached it to study your reflection but only saw shadows covering your entirety. You struggled just to see the image of your eyes. But all you saw was a deep abyss. A seemingly endless black hole. When you saw it, you were so scared and you were taken aback until you hit the wall. You dived there, head first but you were too numb to feel anything that moment. Trauma taught you that it was normal to feel like that. Lying on the frigid floor, pictures of your long-lost memories appeared. It was so vivid you thought it was happening again. Good and happy times. It was too soon when sorrow came near you and tore your illusions apart. You wondered what they really are – fabricated moments? Forged scenarios? You couldn’t tell what’s real and what’s not. You wept. For hours. “If only innocence could be restored. If only this heart didn’t have to fall.” You cried. You were helpless.

Your New Realm

You stepped into the labyrinth of despair and your new comrade, sorrow, welcomed you with arms wide open. “Brace yourself… here comes torment.” He whispered slowly as he leads you to your throne. You sat there in the ice-cold stone. You quivered in coldness, you couldn’t hold the Farenheit. You studied the vicinity of your new kingdom. “Seems like darkness covered the entire place.” You thought to yourself. Soon after, this kingdom became your sacred home. You embraced the solitude, the pain, and the agony. Now everything that connotes sadness decribes you.

One day, your swollen and teary eyes wandered and spotted something that gleamed in distance. It was a mirror. You approached it to study your reflection but only saw shadows covering your entirety. You struggled just to see the image of your eyes. But all you saw was a deep abyss. A seemingly endless black hole. When you saw it, you were so scared and you were taken aback until you hit the wall. You dived there, head first but you were too numb to feel anything that moment. Trauma taught you that it was normal to feel like that.

Lying on the frigid floor, pictures of your long-lost memories appeared. It was so vivid you thought it was happening again. Good and happy times. It was too soon when sorrow came near you and tore your illusions apart. You wondered what they really are – fabricated moments? Forged scenarios? You couldn’t tell what’s real and what’s not. You wept. For hours.

“If only innocence could be restored. If only this heart didn’t have to fall.” You cried.

You were helpless.

“I may just be a dust in your endless galaxy or the air that you can’t see. But without me, your universe will never be complete… You can never breathe…”
The One Who Loves the Most Loses The one who loves the most loses. It’s the sad truth about an even sadder emotion. The heart cries, yearns, and aches, putting its all into a single person. You give all you can and still even more so that The Giver becomes your occupation. The more you give, the deeper you fall And you love like it’s the purpose of creation. But, you see, the one who loves the most loses because soon your love becomes more than compulsion. You’d walk on water and move mountains without expecting appropriate compensation. A simple kiss and “I love you” will suffice; since there’s already a giver, a taker is need to complete the equation. How frugal you become with your love, baring it all with no shame nor reason. Can’t you see the one who loves the most loses in every facet and form of the definition? You don’t get as you give, nor are you loved as you love yet you stay steadfast and ever persistent. If you envision the tables turning, you’re as naive as you are hopeless because the more you become love-struck, the more she becomes resistant. Lacking your strength and courage, her love lags behind and there’s not much about you that’s vitally important. Your love volunteers you for the chopping block and she’d unknowingly order your execution. Blinded by love, you’d smile as she wields the ax. Even in the end you can’t tell what was real and what was illusion. Now you know why the one who loves the most loses.  Author [Lover of Polka Dots]

The One Who Loves the Most Loses

The one who loves the most loses.
It’s the sad truth about an even sadder emotion.

The heart cries, yearns, and aches,
putting its all into a single person.

You give all you can and still even more
so that The Giver becomes your occupation.

The more you give, the deeper you fall
And you love like it’s the purpose of creation.

But, you see, the one who loves the most loses
because soon your love becomes more than compulsion.

You’d walk on water and move mountains
without expecting appropriate compensation.

A simple kiss and “I love you” will suffice;
since there’s already a giver, a taker is need to complete the equation.

How frugal you become with your love,
baring it all with no shame nor reason.

Can’t you see the one who loves the most loses
in every facet and form of the definition?

You don’t get as you give, nor are you loved as you love
yet you stay steadfast and ever persistent.

If you envision the tables turning, you’re as naive as you are hopeless
because the more you become love-struck, the more she becomes resistant.

Lacking your strength and courage, her love lags behind
and there’s not much about you that’s vitally important.

Your love volunteers you for the chopping block
and she’d unknowingly order your execution.

Blinded by love, you’d smile as she wields the ax.
Even in the end you can’t tell what was real and what was illusion.

Now you know why the one who loves the most loses. 

Author [Lover of Polka Dots]

Remorse. It saddens me whenever I look back and see a great man I used to know. Someone who could’ve been better than who he is right now. A brother. A bestfriend. A boyfriend who was once so gentle and afraid to hurt me. If ever he sees his reflection in the mirror, I hope he won’t see a monster. Coz if he does, I will mourn for his death and I will mourn for my own death. Because the moment he chooses to turn his back completely will be the day of my execution.

Remorse.

It saddens me whenever I look back and see a great man I used to know. Someone who could’ve been better than who he is right now. A brother. A bestfriend. A boyfriend who was once so gentle and afraid to hurt me. If ever he sees his reflection in the mirror, I hope he won’t see a monster. Coz if he does, I will mourn for his death and I will mourn for my own death. Because the moment he chooses to turn his back completely will be the day of my execution.